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🌙 11:50PM in Sabah — Heart Still at Home

It’s 11:50pm now. I can’t sleep. My body’s tired, but my heart’s even more exhausted. Mama’s in Sabah for work, but both kids the first and the youngest are down with fever at home. Ayah texted earlier, saying the next dose for Emir is at 3am. His body’s still warm. Tonight marks the second night of fever. Last night, I stayed up until 2:30sm to give him the fever suppository. He started shaking because his body was burning hot. I was scared — helpless, honestly. O Allah, sickness comes from You, and healing too. Please grant my children full recovery. Protect them, even when I can’t be there to hold them. This morning, when Emir send me off to the office, his face looked so sad. That look stayed in my mind the whole flight. I told my sister last night that both kids were sick and I had to fly to Sabah in the morning. She replied,  "Insha allah, all is well. Allah will protect them." That one line… somehow eased my heart a little. It’s not easy being a mom and having t...
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Oktober 28, 19

Assalamualaikum, Mama menulis untuk Eisa baca sekiranya rindu. Hari ini, mama bawa Eisa bermain di padang rumah atok. Hujan renyai dan Eisa pakai topi. Haha comel je anak mama menggayakan topi tu. Di padang, ada angah, along, adam, dan dik mat. Seronok Eisa bermain basikal bersama mereka. Dalam perjalanan balik, Eisa pegang susu mama, mama spontan tolak pipi Eisa. Tapi Eisa balas balik dgn tampar mama. Mama pun jadi singa dan tampar pipi Eisa. Eisa menangis dan minta maaf. Macam ayah cakap, kalau mama dan Eisa gaduh. Mesti mama yg menang. Haha Eisa menangis cakap nak peluk, dan mama merajuk. Sampai je di rumah, Eisa masih pujuk mama dan mama maafkan. Peluk lepas tu Eisa ckp, nak tido. Oh man, awal lagi ni. Tapi lepas kencing dan gosok gigi. Mama tukarkan baju buat susu dan Eisa lena jam 8 malam. Awal kan. Lepas tu mama, sunyi dan rindu. Nak kacau, esok mama kerja. Ok, masa untuk tidur. Mama minta maaf sebab tampar Eisa ya. Mama love u.
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